Zwift

Unsuccessful Failure?

Yesterday was quite an emotional day for many reasons. My first Everesting attempt did not go as planned. Yes, I said first. It’s not completely off the table, but I’m also not fired up to go again any time soon. Maybe. Some day. But now I have to move on.

It was NOT a failure. I have to be clear about that. It was an unsuccessful attempt. My day succeeded in so many ways specifically centered on memorializing my father. It was his day. I clawed my way up and out. Up the climb and out of my internal retreat. The physical demand was just too much. My body slowly rejected what I was demanding of it. My mental state began deteriorating. I’ve always heard about the phenomenon, but this was the first time I’d experienced it. I started to, essentially, fall asleep on the bike. I couldn’t string together words to form a coherent sentence. I was retaining the fluids and foods I was eating. I stumbled when I got off the bike. It became difficult to stand and my position on the bike made me nauseated. It was clearly a “no-win” situation. At about the halfway point, it became all to clear that what remained was unattainable in my current state. And since the rules clearly state that I couldn’t sleep, I had to make the difficult decision to stop.

Thank you to all those who made it out for the climb.

I don’t know if I can point to any one thing as the weak link. Would I have avoided using pickle juice for the first time? Yes. Would I have installed more appropriate gearing on the bike? Yes. Would I have gotten more sleep? Fueled my body better? Trained more or better? Yes. Yes. And yes. Would any of that changed the outcome? Doubt it. It would have just delayed the inevitable. I’m a sprinter. Always have been. Always will be. Climbing is not my wheelhouse. So for me to even have attempted this challenge was enormous. So for all those asking the question – how do I feel today? All good. All systems normal. My legs don’t hurt any more than they would after a hard training session. And I lost 5 pounds so there’s that. Gotta market that, huh? Climb the Alpe, lose a pound.

I had so much support, which was overwhelming. Thank you to all who donated to the cause and more importantly (at least for me), a HUGE thank you to those who joined me on my challenge or who were planning on joining me. I truly tested my support system yesterday and every one of you came through. So I say a HUGE thank you. I appreciate you all.

For those interested, here’s a link to a head to head comparison of the real world climb and the in-game, simulated climb that I rode 5 times.

All told, here are the stats from yesterday:

  • Total distance – 129.6 km
  • Total elevation – 5,211 m (5 complete ascents)
  • Total moving time – 8:17:15
  • Elapsed time – 11 hours
  • Total raised for Alzheimer’s Association – $720

Longest Day

I know I set this up as a photography blog, but for some time now I’ve been off kilter.  Specifically since August 10th of last year.  Why August 10th?  That’s the day my dad died.  Dementia took him.  It was horrible to watch.

Everybody deals with grief differently.  I know this.  I never realized it would affect me this way.  Up until his health began to decline I was active.  I was motivated.  I was doing.  Since?  meh.  It’s had a profound effect on me.  I’ve found myself retreating to my own corner of the world.  I feel like I’ve alienated myself.  I’m unmotivated.  I’m going through the motions.  I’m phoning it in as they say. 

I hear of so many people who have a close bond to a parent.  A mom.  A dad.  A grandparent.  An uncle or aunt even.  A really tight bond.  Best friends, some would say.  I don’t think I had that with my dad.  Or at least I didn’t think I did.  Don’t get me wrong, the relationship I had wasn’t contemptuous or distant.  Just not buddy buddy.  My dad just wasn’t that type of person anyway.  But I find myself missing the various interactions we DID have.  I miss being able to talk with him and teach him about the Tour de France.  I miss being able to tell and show him the new installs on the RV or the latest gadget I discovered.  I miss the quirky way he always answered our weekly Sunday phone calls.  I just miss him.

When he died, I told him that I would honor him in some way.  I vowed that, in 2023, I would do something, anything, to memorialize his struggle.  On June 21st. the longest day of the year, I will do just that.  I’m going to push myself physically and mentally harder than I’ve ever pushed myself before.  My dad struggled for months.  I can struggle for one day.

I’ll be vEveresting beginning at 4am on June 21st. I’ll be riding my bike on my indoor trainer and climbing the equivalent of Mt. Everest in a single activity. 8,848 meters. That’s 5.5 miles of going up. It WILL take me the better part of the longest day to complete. The official Everesting website has me completing it in about 15 hours – only an estimate.

I’m by no means the first to attempt/accomplish this and will not be the last.  I’ve known about this challenge for years now, but have never had the interest in completing it.  Until now.  You see, the Alzheimer’s Association has “adopted” the longest day of the year as their day of fighting for this terrible disease – “The day with the most light is the day we fight®.”

Yes, it’s a fundraiser, but I’m doing this for a couple reasons.  Mainly, my dad.  Secondly, I think I need to push through this wall I’ve created and come back.  Back to work.  Back to the world.  Back to myself.  You can certainly donate at any time, but more importantly, at least for me, join me.  Join me in the fight.  Join me on the ride itself.  If you’re on Zwift, find me, follow me, ride with me.

I’m not great at fundraising.  I’ll let the Alzheimer’s Association handle that part.  But you CAN donate if you’re so moved.  I’m simply going to ride.

Funk

I’m in a funk.  Plain and simple.

Funk.

It was this lengthy blog post where I overthought everything and went on and on about stuff that you don’t care about.  I don’t really care about.

Cuz I’m in a funk.

July 30, 2020.  It happened for the first time on 7/30/20.  11 times since.  Ask me.  I’ll show you. SVT.  Flutter.  Afib.  Call it whatever you will.  It all sucks.

A lot’s happened in a few years.

  • Afib.
  • Ran my first (and only) marathon.
  • RV rental from hell.
  • Bought our own RV – even after RV rental from hell.
  • Replaced 3 catalytic converters – 2 of them stolen.  Don’t ask.
  • Father passed away.
  • Oh yeah, not the flu, but that other thing. Missing a year in there somewhere.

Energy is lower.  Motivation is lower.  Morale is lower.  Funk.

I have a cardiac ablation this week.  Friday – of all days.  Puzzle complete.  Connect the dots yet?

I hope I never have to give up cycling.  That’ll be funk on steroids.