Let me paint the picture for you…

I’ve been in a lot of homes – it’s a big part of what I do.  Some big homes, some small homes.  Some nice homes, some…not-so-nice homes.  Some homes right next door, some homes…well a little further away.  I wish all homes could be vacant – big ask, I know.  Don’t get me wrong, I like the people I work with, but I really like when a house is vacant.  I’m not rushed, I don’t feel like I’m imposing and I don’t have to worry about people being in any of my frames, no pets…you get it, right?  Realtor informs me that this one will be vacant.  Nice.

I’ve been to my fair share of remote properties, too.  I’m constantly sending my wife a text with my location and the caption “Just in case.”  It freaks her out.  It sometimes freaks me out being there.  I had no service so I couldn’t send her said text this go ‘round.

Where does this door lead off the bathroom and why is it…locked?

It was quiet.  Eerily quiet.  Even though the storm was coming, I could still hear the individual blades of dry grass crunching beneath my feet.  SO LOUD!  My tinnitis was driving me crazy.  Or was that the huge bush of giant flying, stinging insects?  Is that what a murder hornet looks like?  Keep the doors unlocked so I can quickly get into the car if a bear comes out of the forest.

Alright, ENOUGH!  I was in my head.  Stop.  It’s just a house.  Like any other house.  Just shoot it and be on your way.

My head was “on a swivel” when the occasional vehicle drove by.  Yes, I thought, I’m supposed to be here.  I’m working.  Just keep shooting.  Just keep shooting.

Got the exteriors done before the rain hit.  Awesome.  Switch gear.  Move inside.

Stop looking behind yourself.  There’s nobody there!

The main house is small.  Two floors.  A total of only eight rooms.  Good lord, I hope there’s no basement.  Go through and get a feel for the house.  Lights on, blinds open.  Geez there’s a lot of bulbs missing.  Whew, no basement.  Where does this door lead off the bathroom and why is it…locked?  Attic?  Hmmm, nope.  Don’t need to shoot that.

The freezer’s running…WHY?!

The entire time I was inside the house, I had the spine-chilling feeling that I was being watched.  Talk about my head being on a swivel!  I wonder, did I check that closet?!  The freezer’s running…WHY?!  How long has this house been vacant?  Where would they hide my body…?

STOP IT!!

I’ve been to much more remote places than this!  Why here?  Why this particular house out of all that I’ve been in?!  This was that kind of farm house that you could be on the second floor and clearly see the person standing on the lawn looking up at you from the front yard.  Don’t take your eyes off the scene because when you look back up you see the shadow disappear around the corner!  Never look directly into the mirror.  Don’t go investigate the odd sound you just heard!

Stop looking behind you – THERE’S NOBODY THERE!!!!

OMG – get out of my head!!!!  STOP!!!  I’ve seen too many horror movies.  Just keep shooting.

Alright, last frame.  Done.

Ah crap, I have to move back through and shoot the floor plan.  I know the house now, this’ll be quick.  Please be quick.  Ok, snap a few frames of the front porch.  Pack up, hurry.  Just throw it all in the car.

Stop looking behind you – THERE’S NOBODY THERE!!!!

Ah, the safety of my car.  Oh yeah, lock the doors.  NOW DRIVE!

As I peeled out of the driveway, I swear I saw the nice family waving to me from the front porch…